The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when problems arise, those who fall here under the Sex Trap visit this website often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with site time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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